T -4 hours to funeral.
I can't decide if I want it to be over or not. I kind of do, kind of don't. I feel like once it's over, this horrible feeling I have of 'being in limbo' might disappear, as if I might be able to go back to my normal life -back to living in my own house, back to work, seeing friends. But the truth is, I know that's not possible. My life will never be the same again because my mum will no longer be the person I speak to every day, the person I ask for advice, the person who knows me best in the whole world.
Once the funeral's over, I'll have said goodbye 'for good', and it will really be the end of my fantastic mum -except for in my head and heart.
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